Saying Weird Things to People (w/ Drew Monson)
wearing nine t shirts? congrats you're a 9 tees kid
girls in 2014: my thigh gap is too small
girls in 3014: the frequency at which my skull resonates is despicable
Hey man, can I have a bite of that apple?
No one is qualified for the job of president..........Except Big Bird from Sesame Street. Very reasonable, very moral person
WHEn the waiter grinds pepper on your meal. have em keep going for like an hour. you could start a pepper business with all that free pepper