Guess I picked the wrong week to open my confederate traditional marriage chapel that doesn’t offer healthcare to employees.
A bird pooped on my man bun. Now I’m going to look like an idiot.
Day 4 in Mexico: still haven’t found the tacos made out of Doritos.
Carly Fiorina’s biggest idea at HP was to have printers make noise for 5 minutes before and after printing.
Don’t bully “band geeks” in school. They eventually become music teachers and have the power to send your kid home with a recorder.