Apple now officially has more cash on hand than the entire US government. Apparently they amassed it by spending less than they make.
Too many people are thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, when they ought to just water the grass they are standing
Seeing a guy with a mullet makes me jealous because why does he get to have a time machine? J. Sweeny
The FBI just announced that violent crimes are down a record 6% over last year, apparently even criminals are having their hours cut.
Happy Birthday CHUCK NORRIS: Fact: Chuck Norris can punch you in the feelings. Fact: When cops pull him over,they try to talk their way out.