Just used 16 gallons of water to rinse out this can for recycling.
Fun Friday Night Adventure: quietly ask a Barnes & Noble clerk to nod in the direction of where they keep the conspiracy theory books.
Officials are reviewing the #SOTU after complaints that Obama deflated the GOP's balls.
A news anchor just said, "The whale was first spotted in 1991 and experts believe he's over 20 years old." I can't do this anymore, guys.