Pro tip: If one of my kids says "close your eyes and open your mouth", you should never, ever do it.
It’s just warm enough that the frightening smell in my minivan has been reawakened. #HowIKnowItsSpring
My son wants a soda, I hand him a water. You just got coke blocked, kid.
Monday am skills: assess current state of chaos, create to do list, sip coffee, snort derisively, admit defeat.