If you walk along, dragging an ax behind you while staring blankly straight ahead, the kiosk guys at the mall will leave you the hell alone!
I can't explain the rush of emotions when something you helped give life, smiles for the first time. It's a moldy loaf of bread, but still.
Dad's flying out of town, so the airport is going to get an anonymous tip to do a high intensity cavity search on one of their passengers.
It's amazing how the pizza delivery guy will refuse your tip if you request your pie be cut into a pentagram.
The gains I've had because of the gym have been amazing! My chest and arms are getting enormous! Wait, I think I'm wearing a kid's shirt.