[Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: "What's his name?" Parent: "Ethan." Me: "The movie's starting, Ethan."
Note: the first three times you tell me your name, I just hear the soothing sounds of the ocean.
Q. Secretary Clinton, will you release your speech transcripts? A. My tax returns? Q. Your speeches. A. Tax ret? Q. Spee A. Ta? #DemDebate
Today, I ate a light lunch. Then I ate some incredibly heavy snacks for eight hours. Then I had a light dinner.