I don't think at any point I had pictured this could happen. Maybe I watch too many American movies with a happy ending. Last night, Chris and I didn't know what to do. He was pacing, I was curled under the sheets, unable to sleep but wanting desperately to wake up to a brighter day.
Then I heard Chris in the middle of the night.
That's it, he won, he said.
In my sleep, my heart ripped appart.
My vision of a progressive world, where women and men are finally equals, where racism is a thing of the past, where people of all color and religion and sexual orientation come together in a respectful way, where we work together to change a world and make it a place of healing, of care and attention for others and for our poor planet, that vision just broke down in million pieces at my feet.
What did people say yesterday?
That they are afraid.
I have a few people in my life that vote for Trump. Or Le Pen, in France. I didn't chose them to be like that, but they are and I listen to them. They're not the devil. They're good people. I swear they're good people! What they feel is powerless. They feel forgotten. They feel like they've given everything for a system that left them lacking, poor, empty.
They've been made to believe the answer is force, ejection, walls.
And why had I not imagined this could happen? Because I live behind closed walls too. The walls of my life, of my social media feeds, catered by me for me with the help of crazy algorithms that make it almost impossible to get a wider view of the world, presenting to me a landscape that conforms to my beliefs... But that is an absolute illusion.
And today, it's time to wake up from the dream.
These people I know, nothing I'll say will make them change.
There is only one thing to do. Keep loving them. And live and act on my beliefs like I've never done before.
If fear prompted that disaster, then let's not be fearful. Lets stop building walls. Lets look at each other and not fear the truth. Let's cultivate hope, care, compassion, and responsibility. Lets look around us and take each other's hands. Let's inspire and forgive.
Let's hope for an American movie happy ending, soon, soon enough.