.@realDonaldTrump I know today was rough, but hey, you still have the Facebook support of the dumbest person I can remember from high school
I want my friends and family at my funeral, but more than that, I want a mysterious stranger watching from behind a tree
When someone says, "I haven't seen you in forever," a fun response is, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"
When I die, instead of being cremated or buried, I'd like my body to be thrown out of a tree onto a group of teens
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn't be allowed to talk