"Thought I was on the Cash Cab, turns out I was drunk and under arrest. And cops hate trivia."
"Ever notice how all the BG building names sound like concentration camps? Harshman.. offenhaur.. Kreischer..idk"
"Hello BG, it's officially less than two months until St. Patrick's Day."
"I'm just saying...no one's ever seen bible bob and these clowns in the same room.."
"I have an urge sometimes to chase the squirrels around campus."