I put the "sexy" into Dyslexia.
Interview: "What is it like being a female comedian?"
Me: "A lot like being a male comedian, but you get asked that question a lot more."
If I had a pound for every time we left the EU, I'd have 89p.
<Granddad calls hotel reception (TRUE STORY)>
G: My microwave won't open.
R: There is no microwave.
G: ...How do I get my pie out the safe?