2012 vs. 2017. By all standards, the version of me on the left is considered “healthier”, stronger, fitter, move lovable, more capable, more accepted… -
To maintain this body, I was running 20k a day, cycling, CrossFitting, juice fasting, counting calories, and doing everything in my power to become smaller. I also hadn’t gotten a period in over 5 years, had CRAZY mood swings, couldn’t concentrate, dealt with insane sugar cravings, binged and purged upwards of 7 times a day, suffered from cystic acne, had zero sex drive, avoided social situations, got angry at Kevin a lot, obsessed over food, never stopped thinking about my body being disgusting, etc. -
I remember taking this photo and thinking my arms were too fat, that my thighs were too large, and that I didn’t deserve to wear an outfit like that.
On the right, 30 pounds heavier, I’m told that I should want to lose weight, that I shouldn’t eat past 6pm, that I should force myself to go to the gym, that I should obsess over my ketone levels, eat less than 20 grams of carbs per day, be ashamed of my arm fat, want my 6-pack abs back, that I’m too heavy to be a nutrition expert, that I should get botox, that my breasts are too large, that my haircut is weird…
I remember taking this photo thinking, “Holy crap, this is so cool… this photo will be in my paperback book! WAH, I’m so happy”. NO limiting beliefs about my body as a currency to get me what I want in life - success, love, and happiness.
Your weight doesn’t define you. Your state of mind does. The minute I figured out that my body was a vessel for experiencing life, everything changed. I treat my body with love, kindness, and respect, and I get to live every moment with LOVE for life instead of HATE.
For me, this meant gaining weight to find health - balanced moods, no more ADHD, menstruation, ovulation, ample room in my life for self care, more friends, more confidence, and SO MUCH MORE.
Take time to appreciate your body, regardless of what it looks like.
#selflove #weightgain #health #nutrition #healthyme #losehatenotweight