Fast food drive-thru workers keep trying to give me cardboard drink holders like they don't know this minivan is a $35,000 drink holder.
Q: Tom Brady, you just won the Super Bowl! What are you going to do next? A: I'm just hoping I don't end up in a Nationwide commercial.
I googled the guy arrested for burglarizing my house. His phone number is in his Facebook profile. He Likes drag racing and Jenna Jameson.
Make A Wish & ESPN worked very hard to grant my son's Wish with the Dbacks. SportsCenter. 11pm EST tonight. Watch it. Don't cry too hard.