Pretty much everything is a guilty pleasure since I got married.
Some of you can't tweet at work. If i couldn't tweet at work, i'd have to get shit done. Sounds terrifying.
I don't have major life problems, just opportunities. To screw up peoples' lives, chew myself out, beat myself up, and feel like a failure.
Where've you been all my life? Wait...where've you been since I was far enough into my twenties to comfortably have a crush on you?