GET YOUR Australian batsman name by adding 'b Broad' to the end of your surname. (via @athorndyke)
DADS. Get revenge on your children by running into their rooms at 4am to ask if you can open your Father's Day presents.
PRETEND you're an Australian cricketer by walking to the middle of a field, turning round & immediately walking back. #theashes @tpsrayment
REPLICATE UKIP's success by buying 150 shares in Google then swaggering into their boardroom shouting "I'm a serious player"
CONFUSE Geordie physiotherapists by informing them that you've got knee complaints. (via @bertnews)