"Want some decaf coffee?" Good call. While we're at it, better throw in the drawing of a boob, and the sound of pizza. Thanks, Satan.
Stubbing your toe on a table isn't that bad as long as you massage it, and destroy everything you've ever loved with fire.
If making friends in real life was like Facebook, people would just show up at your house and leer through windows without saying anything.
According to news, bacon causes cancer. A list of other things that cause cancer: 1. Everything.
Fact: Half a gram of Gary Busey's liver, when smoked, contains enough hallucinogen to understand what Dennis Rodman is saying for a week.