Feminism ends when she meets the right guy, Communism ends when you make $5,000 a month, and atheism ends when the plane starts to shake.
The world collectively spent $1,735 billion on war in 2012. It would take about $195 billion to totally eradicate poverty.
Vegans eat plants. Plants reduce CO2. Vegans are destroying the planet! I eat animals who produce CO2 and who eat plants. I'm a hero!
When you close your eyes for 5 minutes at 6AM in the morning, it's 7:45. When you do the same at work at 10:20AM, it's 10:21.
The proof that there are intelligent species somewhere in the universe is that they have not tried to contact us.