Even the Care Bears don't give a fuck anymore.
If you’re asked a yes/no question by a woman, there’s usually more than one wrong answer.
If we could read women’s minds, they’d be mad at us for that, too.
Never try to listen through the glory hole.
I like for all my friends to be cuter than I am, in case we all go to prison.
Silence is only awkward when you're the one with the duct tape over your mouth.
Witty and Pretty is more deadly than Smith & Wesson.