Hipsters are doing the Water Bucket challenge. It's the Ice Bucket challenge, but before it was cool.
Brexit walks into a bar. The barman says "why the long farce?"
Man Bun 1 - Head & Shoulders 0
David Cameron - putting the "jizz" into "sausages".
[as eclipse ends]
Sun: So you'll call me, yeah?
Moon [putting on trousers]: Yeah...
I bought an XFactor satnav. When you reach your destination it breaks down sobbing and says "it's been a journey".