Every disgusting person you've ever met in your life is at a water park right now.
Don't follow your dreams. Find someone more creative and steal theirs.
It's so hot in Arizona that I saw a goth teen melt in the sun and reform into something their parents could be proud of.
The most disappointing sentence in the human language is "This next song is off of our new album".
There's no level of happiness higher than a person wanting to demonstrate how they know all the words to the Fresh Prince theme song.