Overheard 6yo ask my husband "Are you the boss of the house?" He answered "No" and then looked to see if I was listening. Good answer.
For Valentine's Day, I gave my husband two children completely filled with chocolate.
If you haven't yet alienated your Thanksgiving guests over politics, tell them ur replacing their mashed potatoes with smashed cauliflower.
Me: Who left his blankie in front of the fridge? 5yo: I did. Me: Just dropped it while thinking about breakfast? 5yo: Accidents happen.