A guy in Target on his cell said “Susan, I’m in my car on my way” so I screamed “NO HE’S NOT!” Nobody lies to Susan in front of me.
Hate when I eat the last bite of breakfast and didn’t notice it was the last bite so I couldn’t mentally prepare myself and get any closure.
I'm at the phase of Christmas where I'm looking at stuff in my house and going "I could just wrap that."
Do I just call you or should we resolve this quickly with 200 text messages?
I'm 43, trick or treating tomorrow and hoping you put razor blades in my candy. Know how expensive those things are now? Help a brother out.