There are many miracles I can perform, but the England football team isn't one.
Dear ISIS, no one kills in the name of God. You don't represent any religion of the world. You are nothing but disgusting filth.
It's getting a bit crowded up here. #2016
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I'm surprised President Obama hasn't invaded Kim Kardashian's ass for the oil.
Anyone got any prayers that need answering? #PrayerRequest