In other tech news, SCO has filed a patent suit against Yahoo! for their unauthorized use of "a system of embarrassing corporate collapse".
BREAKING: To combat the storage of information on US citizens, 10gen have offered the NSA a free MongoDB installation and support contract.
Lugging around a SOAP API in 2012? Replace all occurrences of "SOAP" with "Hand Crafted Vintage XML", and lure in the Portland tech scene.
Buy an expensive espresso machine for the office. Operating one will provide invaluable experience for your post-tech-bubble career.