I love elections, you can just make stuff up and nobody minds. At the next press conference David is going to announce that he can fly.
Because we're probably not being re-elected and I quite fancy David's job, I've just promised £8bn a year of pretend money to the NHS
Folk are swallowing the "illegitimate Labour minority government" line after we've been propped up by LibDems for 5 years. That's funny.
Zero hour jobs are great, you just type them into the spreadsheet and that makes them real. They're the quantitative easing of employment.