Why is @HillaryClinton speaking in a voice louder than a whisper? It's not very ladylike. She should deliver all her speeches in an apron.
You can't hurt my feelings by accusing me of being gay. I wanted to be gay. I passed the written, but failed the oral.
My wife just nominated me for the "would it kill you to refill the ice trays every once in a while" challenge?
As we mourn the death of Elie Wiesel it's important to remember the words of @realDonaldTrump: "I like people that weren't captured."