Last time we had a beef with Russia we sent over Billy Joel and he fucking finished it. #pianoman #nomorechitchat
NASA says there's 715 new Earth-like planets, but last time I checked: we're the only one that serves breakfast ALL DAY. #earth #suckit
If they update "Cats in the Cradle" -- the dad misses everything because he's updating Adobe Flash Player at every stage of the kid's life.