Your ex asking to be friends after a breakup is like kidnappers asking you to 'keep in touch' after letting you go.
Before sex you help each other get naked. After sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: No one helps you once you're fucked.
A slutty girl is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it but no one wants it.
Definition of trust: Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.