There's no use crying / over spilt milk. Unless that / shit is organic
Kid believes in a / giant bunny but finds God / implausible. Oy.
Son's blood work is back / Doctors confirm that boy is / 90% cheese stick
One of these days I'll / teach my kids the fine art of / procrastination
Whoever came up / with "like a day at the beach" / did not bring toddlers