trump: i do sex crimes beyoncé: i reward consensual, enjoyable sex with cheddar biscuits trump supporters: CHECKMAT… twitter.com/i/web/status/7…
Obama: My Supreme Court nominee is... Jesus. GOP: N-n-n-o? Obama: Zombie Reagan GOP: *sweating profusely* Obama: A gun GOP: *faces melt off*
Ayn Rand, Rand Paul and Paul Ryan walk into a bar. The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.
Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. Everyone leaves. "EVERYONE?" he chuckles to himself. "7.4 billion humans couldn't fit in this space."