Depression must be what the unfrosted side of a Frosted Mini-Wheat feels like.
Do you have an overwhelming amount of things to do today? There's a nap for that.
The coolest thing about owning all these Star Wars action figures is never having to explain them to a girlfriend.
My dad called to tell me he was disappointed in me and we laughed and laughed until his phone privilege was over at the state penitentiary.
Nobody questions me about my grandma lying around in public as long as I place a yoga mat under her.