Ever notice that people will ask permission to be frank or honest, but never "May I be an ass for a minute?"
Maybe, just maybe, passwords wouldn’t be so insecure if we weren’t always asking them to change.
Twitter says, “Tweets not loading right now,” but I see, “There’s a party on the Internet and you’re not invited.”
The ice cream said it's best if eaten by May 2015 but I hate to leave things to the last minute.
You don't find many women serial killers because we prefer to pick just one guy and take away his will to live over several decades.