Lots of people wanting us to go arrest Nick Griffin. That would mean having to be in the same room as him, which is a bit much.
Today, we launch #HASHTAGDontKill. If you feel like killing, don't! Don't do a murder please. Tweet us if you think you're going to.
Weird. Got an email saying that bestiality and necrophilia is legal now. That can't be right.
Our cells are full of everyone we arrested for pinching and punching us yesterday.
Yes, we're aware we haven't tweeted in six months. We've been on a course to work on our "Social Media Brand".