Sorry I tweeted before texting you back. Sorry I opened your Snapchat but didn't respond. Sorry we actually worry about these things now.
Nelson Mandela was an inspiration to the entire human race. Everybody could learn something from the way he lived his life #RIPNelsonMandela
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they truly are. Word to the wise ;-)
Smart phones are more powerful than NASA Computers were in 1969. They launched a man to the moon, we are launching birds into pigs.
"The key to success & happiness is opening your mind & heart to love. Spending time doing things you love w/ people you love." - John Legend
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they're ok.
WebMD's slogan should be "It could be nothing.. but its probably cancer."
You can never be old & wise if you were never young & crazy.
Remember, Mondays are perfectly fine. It's your life that sucks.
What I hate most about Twitter: finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left & then having to decide which grammar crime to commit.