After they set Martin Shkreli's bail, they should increase it by 5000%.
I taped a Weather Channel logo on our living room window. It’s like having an extra TV.
I wanted to attend the Google Glass meetup but all the Segway spots were taken.
Printed “Miss America” across my seatbelt and now I can’t stop waving at people.
I’m really a nice person once you get to know someone a lot meaner.