It takes 13+ taps to deliberately write a capital letter in iOS: shift key, the letter you want, delete, repeat 4x until accidental success.
Hillary tonight: “Every business Donald touches he destroys. And now that he's the head of the Republican Party, he's destroyed that, too.”
You're skeptical of all news articles because it's April Fool's Day today. Great! Now, you should be just as skeptical every other day, too.
Finally figured out why Google Maps doesn't have a distance scale – because it's a Mercator projection, where scale varies across latitudes.