"If Di Maria was the hat before the trousers, then Falcao is another hat on top of that hat, only this one is on fire. Still no trousers."
United's only option now is to appoint Mourinho, buy Pepe, and go Full Bastard.
[loses entire of Scotland to an anti-austerity party] "Guys, I think we were too far to the left."
If a Berbatov goal loses Allardyce his job, the Daily Mail's going to be unbearable.
On the plus side, the 2016 season of Why Aren't You Wearing A Poppy? could be the most exciting yet.