Steven Gerrard is set to announce that he will leave Liverpool at the end of this season. MLS is his most likely destination.
Mats Hummels has just been asked if his defence is terrified because Will Grigg is on fire. Seriously.
Nothing screams English football's mediocrity louder than how highly Harry Redknapp (one major honour in 32 years as a manager) is regarded.
Liverpool have agreed a fee with Sevilla for Alberto Moreno who is now expected to be pulled out of tonight's Super Cup game in Cardiff.
If anyone agrees to pay £32.5m for Benteke the FBI will want to follow the money trail.