Try to remember the worst thing you’ve ever said. Now imagine the one person who would laugh at it. That’s who you should marry.
Gotta admit Donald Trump is the best at making American-born citizens produce their American-issued birth certificates. How does he do it?!
Your Netflix queue is mostly a reminder that you can’t even follow through on watching a movie.
If at first you don’t succeed, it’s probably because your parents didn’t know the right people or send you to a good school.