My mind has been living in hindsight. Consumed with "what ifs" and "I should haves". Left in a reality that hardly seems real. But it is real. And it hurts. It hurts in waves of deep sorrow and sadness.
At one point we were like brothers. Inseparable, almost to a fault. One minute laughing hysterically about something ridiculous, the next minute we can hardly stand to be around each other, without really knowing the reason why. We taught each other so much, and pushed each other to new levels. Ultimately pushing each other so hard, that we pushed each other away from one another completely. I'm thankful that time, age, and family had slowly pushed us back together.
I wish he could see what his life meant to others. I wish he could truly see what he accomplished in life. To see what that intense drive and focus showed the world. To learn who he inspired to push past what others believed was impossible. To inspire people to dream, and to dream big. I'm not sure if he ever realized what he had accomplished. It's bigger than any contest or trophy. It's more powerful than any amount of money. It spanned riding styles, generations, sports, and languages. My hope is that this terrible loss will help people who may be feeling this same way to reach out to someone, and accept help. My hope is that by looking back at his life and seeing how he pushed himself, that it will inspire others to aspire for more. To push themselves to be greater than they ever could have dreamed.
We will never understand why. There's so much that hurts. There are so many tears. So many unanswered questions. There were so many years left. So many laughs. So many special moments that will never be. My heart is broken. We lost a friend, and father, a husband, a brother, a son, and a champion. I'm holding on to my memories and remembering the man that I became best friends with. The memories of traveling and competing, of road trips and laughter, of being teammates on the road and roommates in Greenville. Words do no justice to the sorrow this has brought so many. I miss my friend. Rest easy Dave.