Disney right now: "George Lucas doesn't like the new Star Wars movie. Do we have room for that in the promotional material?"
Actual fact: I am still the only "journalist" in this election cycle to ask Carly Fiorina why printer ink is so expensive.
I really hope the iWatch is introduced with the line "imagine if you could check the time . . . without taking out your phone."
Ebola is less frightening if you pronounce it in the style of Ricola ad yodelers.
I don't have coffee in the morning so I can wake up. I wake up in the morning so I can have coffee.