The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.
The reason I don't like Facebook's "memories" feature is because it shows me 6 years ago wearing the same shirt I have on right now.
If I had an elephant in one arm, a rhino in the other and an orangutan on my shoulders, my sons would still ask me to hold their stuff.
I don't feel sorry for you, kid. When I was growing up, my phone hung on a wall.