#LegalizeGayMarriage is trending. Honey, I approve. Instead of stopping gays from marrying, let's stop boring, unattractive people.
Oh #daylightsavings time. I just lost an hour of my life and, for a change, alcohol wasn't involved.
#AshWednesday For Lent, I'm giving up self control, compassion, and sobriety.
Just saw Willow Smith on Oprah. She said that her life is "50% work and 102% fun." Yeah honey, let's fit 98% of some math class in there.