Holy Shit @joe_hill just told me that Bon Jovi killed Fidel Castro. It has to be true
@iamcolinquinn I got fired this morning. And yet you are still completely responsible for ruining my day
Johnny Carson giving you the wave over: Career made @iamcolinquinn retweeting you: Career over
History is made. Please take a moment to congratulate Adam Pacman Jones on his 3,000th career arrest.
@jharrison9292 BREAKING NEWS...after confirming the death of Kim Jong Il, Roger Goodell suspends James Harrison an additional 2 games
@RiverRunBkstore you have any signed copies of Locke & Key hardcovers left? Any or all volumes? Thanks
@joe_hill bad news...Joss directed the 2nd episode and it will be spent impaling everything you thought was smart/unafraid in the first
Michael Irvin on the cover of a gay magazine? I think he's confused; his generation must think that gay means free cocaine
God exists...and he's American: http://consumerist.com/2010/06/friendlys-grilled-cheese-burger-melt-is-coming-for-your-arteries.html
This article about Tila Tequila is the greatest thing on the internet EVER. http://tinyurl.com/24dww34
Theyre saying RG3 finished in 4.5 seconds and everyone is impressed how fast it was? People need to talk to my high school girlfriend
So you're telling me I hafta be nice today to this girl that lied about being on the pill AND has a stretched out vag? #mothersdayunplugged
Oh great, @iamcolinquinn is making his Goodfellas barbs again...why don't you try that noise with the Big Boys here in the PG-13 movie gang
If there's an Olympic Event for families that sit in silence the longest during road trips..all the trophies would be named after my family
There was a section in the Mother's Day card aisle at Wal-Mart titled "To Mother - From Son Romantic"
"Guys, seriously I'm fine. I just drank way too much Friday morning & needed to sleep it off for 3 days" -King James Beam Bible
In the North Korean missile's defense, she was really really hot and felt sooo good.