Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood. --Oscar Wilde
The cops came to my house claiming my dog had chased someone on a bike. I told those idiots my dog doesn't have a bike... #followfriday
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
If your kids are giving you a headache,follow the directions on the aspirin bottle,especially the part that says, "keep away from children."