When someone says, "We need to have a serious talk," you should say, "Then you should probably get that stupid face off your head first."
I've worked with Mel Gibson. Is he really that big of a racist A-hole? Yes. Yes he is.
Peanut butter sees everything that jelly sees. But peanut butter is more AWARE.
People always ask me how to tell cyborgs from real people. Cyborgs won't laugh when you fart. Also, they always tip exactly 15%.
Here's a good way to never make any friends: Smell your palm after every time you shake someone's hand.