One night a father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers, which she ended by saying: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and goodbye Grandpa." "Why yuh say good-bye Grandpa fa?" the father asked. "Mi nuh know, " the little girl said. The next day, Grandpa died. The man thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later, he put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The next day, the grandmother died! Oh my goodness thought the man, dis yah pickney can see inna de future. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the man heard her say "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." The man practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous all day. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be OK He felt safe in the office, so he stayed until the end of the day, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.Finally, when midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "Yuh neva come 'ome dis late before, wha happen?" "Mi no waan talk 'bout it," he said. "Mi jus 'ave de worst day a mi life." "Yuh tink yuh had a bad day?" the wife exclaimed. "You'll neva believe wha happen. Dis mahnin, Desmond next door, drap dead pan de verandah
The house phone bill was exceptionally high, so the man of the house called a family meeting on a Saturday morning after breakfast. Dad: People, 'ere mi now - Dis wrong. You haffi cut back pon the long distance andcell phone calls dat unuh mekking on the house phone. De phone bill getting very high, and me not even use the house phone fi dem calls any more. Mi use the one ah mi office. Mum: Same here. Mi hardly use de housephone, because mi mek most of those calls pon mi work phone. Son: Me too. Mi stop use the house phone long time. Mi always use mi companymobile weh dem gimme. Helper: So, wha de problem? Look like all ah wi a use wi work phone then!
A bus was involved in an accident on the busy Half-Way Tree Road on Friday afternoon. As expected, traffic came to a stand-still, and a large vocal crowd gathered. A male reporter from one of our 'big' newspapers, anxious to get his story could not get near the bus or the victim(s). Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, " Unnuh let me through! Let me through! A mi madda get lick-dung. " The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the bus was a donkey.