Simultaneous Thoughts: 1. I'm amazing 2. Everyone hates me 3. I have rare insights about the universe 4. I am a complete and utter dullard
If you don't apathetically say "go sports" to friends who like football, how will they know you went to a liberal arts college?
Dear crying babies, your lives are literally perfect. Save your tears for your desk jobs in 20 years. Life is long, guys.
"In 2016... Bradley Cooper... & J Law are... magicians... who have... cancer?" -David O Russell rearranging his moviemaking fridge magnets
If Jon Lovitz started popping up everywhere and messing with people like Bill Murray's been doing he'd be in jail by now.