Goodbye Ryan Mason, I'll never forget the day I called you the worst player in the Prem to a man who turned out to be you dad.
Fair play Harry Kane - walked off the pitch, stewarded everyone out the ground, drove the bus home and is now fighting crime in the sewers.
If David Moyes ends up being the new Spurs manager I will literally build a time machine, go back to the late 70s and abort myself. #coys
Stoke fans (to the referee): You're not fit to referee. Spurs fans (to the Stoke fans): You're all fit to go to work.
To be fair to Uruguay - if you watch the first Rodriguez goal on super slo mo you can clearly see that it's all the English media's fault.