"God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers"
Phones prevent sleep
"All the treasures of earth cannot bring back one lost moment." -French proverb
Onion Headline: "6-year-old announces plans to become ballerina gymnast veterinarian horseback-riding princess."
"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of travelling."
The Onion Headline: "Family upgrades to Shells & Cheese"